Lovers in the Shower
“lovers in the shower” | oil paint on 20”x 16” canvas
In March 2021, I had a breakdown after a rough exit from a job. So naturally, I decided to go back to Chicago and accidentally stayed there for a month and a half. Oops.
There wasn’t a whole lot to do back home, as c*vid restrictions were pretty intense, so I spent a lot of time in my mom’s house, trying to calm my over-active brain. I wrote music, I actually cooked for myself, I went on walks. I was trying to take care of my body and find joy in the life around me.
And on way I did that, was by taking pretty pictures of myself and the few people I got to see. But I also spent a lot of time alone, so I made sure to take some quality nudes as well. 💅🏼
And listen, I love taking nudes. Seriously. It’s fun.
They’re mostly for me, and I am often using myself for painting references. So as a photographer and artist, I put a lot of effort into making them *good* photos by playing with positioning and lighting. And the best place to do that is in the shower at my moms house which has the BEST lighting with a rain shower overhead, and it makes for some beautiful photos. So I often take photos there.
However, It’s quite different to take a nude photo with someone else though. It’s a very vulnerable experience. There’s the element of trust in having these photos of someone else; the excitement in taking these photos together; and beauty in what you put in front of the camera.
This photo is with one of my old lovers when they stayed in Chicago with me. Our relationship was important and healing for me, as we were both completely disinterested in dating and communicated that so clearly to each other. We talked openly and were comfortable with our queer platonic connection. It was nice to have someone who was both a good friend and a sexual partner, and it was a partnership that was meant to be temporary.
In some ways, it could feel weird to have a painting of an ex-lover, but it was different with them. We moved on in our separate lives and slowly faded into casual mutuals online. I still love this painting. I still appreciate what I learned from them.
We took this photo together and I knew I had to paint it immediately. Originally, I intended to paint in natural tones, but after accidentally messing with the saturation, I decided to go with highly saturated monochromatic schemes for both of us, which I continue to stick with.
However, I hadn’t painted anything in a long time and worried I might be out of practice. So naturally, I chose to paint with oil, a medium which I had never used before. It was a challenge to figure out I loved the experience of working with a new medium, and I’ll definitely be trying this again soon.
I think it’s important to take photos and to make art with your lovers because, for me, it’s all about memorializing queer connections, no matter how temporary.
Because honestly queer connection just hits different.
